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Spadina Literary Review  —  edition 35 page 17


The Voice of God

by Chris Pollard

claiming to be God
spoke to me

You don’t sound like God,
I said

I did not know you were such an expert on what
the Voice of God is supposed to sound like,
the voice countered

God would know
whether or not I was such an expert,
I parried

I do know,
the alleged Voice of God explained,
I was being sarcastic

I don’t think sarcasm is very Godlike,
I whined

I cannot think of anything more Godlike,
the voice cruelly laughed

I sighed

I did not know you spoke French,
the Voice of God sneered

God should know
whether or not I speak French —
Oh wait, I get it,
I surrendered

and we both had a bit of a laugh
before the Voice of God moved on to listing
everything I was doing wrong.