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Spadina Literary Review  —  edition 38 page 11


Danger Man

by Jason J. Buchholz

“Am I nothing but a plaything to you? Just another unnamed ‘booty call’ between all of those so called ‘dangerous’ missions you keep going on?” she shrieked, having had enough of his cavalier attitude and careless frame of mind when it came to their relationship.

“Have you ever considered that I feel like every time I see you is the last? There's no way for me to know if you’ve survived until you walk in through that door, unannounced, like it’s just another day in the week, but it’s not! I-I love you...” Her voice trailed off as she broke down and started sobbing, wetting the bed sheet that she was using one arm to hold over her naked upper body, concealing her breasts as best she could. Her long, blonde hair fell around her right hand helping to cover her face as she cried.

Having just finished tying his tie around his collar, he couldn’t help but look at her in that current state and feel a little responsible, knowing that his job and way of life was slowly tearing her apart from within. He had strong feelings for her as well, and wanted more than anything to spend the rest of his life with her, but it would never be in the cards. Every time he went away to do his job, he was prepared to die regardless.

Pondering the complexity of his very existence, there was little he could do to remedy the situation, so he settled on comforting her as best he could, moving back over to the bed and sitting next to her, putting a strong arm around her and pulling her close, kissing her head to reassure her in this time of need.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I should never have allowed us to get this far, and get so attached to cause such pain. I was selfish and thought only of my own needs.”

The admission was so stunning, that Evelyn managed to pull her head up and look at his face, tears running down her cheeks. Christian pondered her for a moment, her brilliant green eyes still able to sparkle, even in sadness.

“You can’t take all the blame," she whispered. “I fell in love with you so fast, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. You were like nothing I had ever seen, different from any other man I had been with...” Evelyn reached up with her free hand and ran her slender fingers across his smooth chin and over a cheek.

Christian remembered the first time she ever did that, and how it made him feel, just as it did right now. He reached out with his left hand and took hers in his, gently holding onto it, as soft as always. He couldn’t help but stare into her eyes, and see everything they had ever done, and every feeling they had shared over the years.

“Evelyn, I fell for you just as quickly, and have never stopped keeping a piece of you in my heart. It’s the only thing that keeps me going when I’m out there, alone,” he explained, his eyes darting to the window and back as if to illustrate. He had encountered many women on his travels, and had some short relations with some of them, but his heart always came back to this place, to Evelyn, and how much she meant to him.

“Oh Christian, stay with me! You’ve gone far and wide, done enough for them! Let’s focus on us now, and nothing else!” she pleaded, wanting him by her side forever.

Christian let go of her hand and stood up. He straightened his black tuxedo and bow tie, and ran a hand quickly through his short black hair. One last check of his person told him that his hidden holster and pistol were fastened under his suit exactly where they should be. He could easily stay here with her, immerse himself in the love and passion that they both desired. Unfortunately, his work came first and foremost to him, and through that work, she would remain safe and sound.

Checking his watch, it told him it was time to leave, but not without saying goodbye to her, and secretly hoping he’d live long enough to come back to her once again.

Chrisitan knelt down beside the edge of the bed where she sat and raised her chin with his right hand, giving a slight smile before leaning in fully and locking his lips with hers, as they both shared a final passionate kiss before he departed. When it was over, a solitary tear slid down her cheek. He kissed her once more, a soft peck on her forehead, before standing up and turning for the door.

“Wait,” she said aloud, enough to make him stop and face her one more time, his blue eyes looking as magical as always. “Don’t die. Come back to me....please.”

He grinned for a moment, then faded back to seriousness. “I have time for many things out there, but dying isn’t one of them. I’ll return to you, Evelyn,” he said, before slipping out the door and back out of her life until just like every other time he would show up again when she least expected it. Why she lived like this and kept doing the same things to herself in this fashion eluded her. With her beauty she could have any man out there, like a doctor, police officer, businessman, or even a politician.

But it was too late, for she had fallen for a spy.