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Spadina Literary Review  —  edition 10 page 04


April 21

I dated Raj. It was another coincidence, I met him coming out of the subway. We went to a movie. He’s a serious person. He has a beard very tight and trim. He’s studying film arts. I started to feel he’s over my head but then I told myself I should make an effort. We touched elbows. There was a scene with a fruit bowl and I said out loud, “Those pears look delicious.” They looked so vivid. Raj didn’t respond except with just a humph that indicated he heard me but I shouldn’t interrupt his concentration. “I just meant the camera guy did a great job,” I said, keeping it to a whisper.

Afterwards we went to a Chinese restaurant. Raj used chopsticks. I felt like I was flunking an audition. His parents want him to marry someone in India. I told him about the nuclear waste video. He asked if I’d like to go out again sometime, but I thought his tone was tepid, like he was just being polite. I told him I broke up with my boyfriend and I’m looking for a new job so I need time to sort things out. We exchanged numbers.

I was scared to open my fortune cookie in front of anybody. I slipped it into my bag and cracked it open at home. It said: "Your plans are going to succeed!" Plans? What plans?

April 22

I went for an interview at a law office in a big sandstone house. The plate glass window in front was smashed. There was a hole at the centre with fissures radiating out like someone tossed a brick at it. I was supposed to speak with the office manager whose name was Elizabeth but she wasn’t there. One of the lawyers seemed like a nice guy, he went looking for her and never came back. I began to feel that this was a waste of time. Finally Elizabeth appeared after half an hour and she seemed to be just hurrying thru the formlities with me, as if they had already hired somebody for the position.

April 23

I called and left a thanks-for-the-interview message on Elizabeth’s machine, like you’re supposed to if you want the job, but I was just going thru the motions because the smashed window was a bad omen.

April 24

I had a new assignment out by the airport. It took an hour and a half to get out there then Watson sent me home early supposedly because we were overstaffed. Laura the team leader hates me. Laura always finds reasons to be in Watson’s office and she knows I know that she’s always finding reasons and not even getting anywhere with him.

April 25

I had a dream about Ossie running down a street and going in and out of doorways. Bo knows this is driving me out of my mind.

April 26

I decided to throw out Bo’s clothes so I won’t have to explain about them if I have a guest over sometime. I texted:

pick up yr jeans n jacket asap

He answered and then the exchange went like this:


when r u coming?


pick up yr jeans n jacket

ok 2morrow

how is Ossie

CU L8r